Thursday, April 07, 2011

A FEW DAYS TO COMPOSE MYSELF

A little over a year ago two precious little girls entered my life. They we just tiny babies. Over the months they begin to grow and develop their personalities. One is a drama queen and the other one is very laid back. I have watched them grow from just laying around to running around. From no hair to hair, no teeth to teeth and to be able to just smile to hug and kiss me. (tears are flowing)

On Tuesday, I got the horrible news that May 26th will be the girls last day with me. Since they are twins, they were born 6 weeks early. Which means that they are behind on some things. One of the areas is their language skills. They should be saying about 50 words by now. They are only saying about 5. Since I am with them all of the time, I understand what they are saying. The Dr. feels that putting them in Day Care with other children their age will develop their language skills.

I know how much one and one time I spend with them. I have taught them what is right and wrong. Sign language, how to put puzzles together and feed themselves. One of them does not eat well, so I spend time with her so that she will eat. I hope they will get this time in day care.

I have cried and cried. These girls are part of my life and my family. We do everything together. I will miss them so much. Like my mom said "when God closes one door, he opens another one." So now I am waiting on him to direct me where I should go now. I really enjoyed watching these girls. But not sure if I want to do it again. I am getting the feeling that I need to be in the school system somewhere. I am just confused right now. With Randy not having a job, this has been even a bigger blow.

Say a prayer for me as I venture out into a different career. I do know that I will take the summer off and spend it with my children. Who knows after that. Really pray hard on May 26th. (tears flowing) cause I will cry all day and not let the girls out of my arms.

Carly and Kendall, KK will miss you more than the world. I love you just like my own children.

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2 comments:

Sue Lucas said...

Kim I am so very sorry I know how your heart breaks but you know as well as I know that in Daycare they are just a number, that nothing can take the place of one on one care and time and attention given them.I know I am not making you feel any better but it is the truth I have worked in day care for too many years.I pray for your broken heart to be mended and that God will show you an "open door"
It hurts like crazy to loose little ones you are so attached to for so long.I also pray that they find at least a Christian day care .Let me know if I can help you in any way. Prayers to you and your family Sue Lucas

Becky said...

Stay strong my sweet, sweet friend. I can honestly say that if you really do trust in God and just let go of it all he is going to work miracles. I almost lost everything dear to me until I literally gave it all up to God.

I pray for your hurt to be healed and for something to happen quickly for you. Hugs and as always I am here if you want to talk. Love, Becky